Archive for December, 2006

CRY DOWN THE BELOVED COUNTRY

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

By Ian Hamilton

My heart goes out to Wendy Alexander. She pulls hard on the oar in her wallowing boat. Maybe she loves Scotland as much as we do, and hates the job given to her by the crew who command her. ‘Cry down the beloved country’ they shout in their fear as the spray hits their faces. They have no policy for Scotland other than to say it is on the rocks. Maybe that will frighten the lifeboatmen to come and save them. They are driven by fear and in their fear they cry in the wind.

Why should these men and this woman cry down their country? I name them. Brown, Reid, Des Browne,  Douglas Alexander, Lord Foulkes. They are driven by that rootless car-salesman Blair, and tongue lashed by Blunkett, Clarke and Prescott. These few people have ditched everything worthwhile that Labour once stood for, and created an authoritarian state of fear reminiscent of General Pinochet. Decent men and women of modest ambition are frightened to speak against the worst sort of government abuses, and poor Wendy is called on to cry down the country she once loved to serve. ‘We can’t afford to look after ourselves,’ they whinge, just as a generation ago they told us we weren’t fit to look after ourselves. Now we look after England as well.

In all our affairs we have one foe and one alone. It is not England: it is the Labour Party. Its Scottish members are built into the wall at Westminster. If they are taken out the wall will not fall down, but the rejected members will be rubble, and the Labour Party will be without its majority. It is not the good of Scotland they have at heart. It is the survival of the Labour Party as we have known it for a hundred years, as we once knew the Conservative Party for just as long. Poor Jack MacConnell has to sing shtumb. His hymn sheet is writ in different words. It says in broad letters along the top, ‘Always a little further we will go,’ a song Wendy would love to sing if a rough hand were not clapped across her mouth. The words on her hymn-sheet say ‘Rule Britannia,’ with its accompanying refrain, ‘Down, down, down with bankrupt Scotland.’

In no other country in the world are politicians so keen to show how poverty struck they have become after ten years of their own rule. The USA runs such a deficit that the dollar has gone down, down, down, but is still a proud nation. The pound is comparatively strong not because the UK has no deficit but because its borrowings are less. For Scotland new phrases are invented. ‘The Devolution Deficit.’ ‘The Union Subsidy.’ Has Wendy Alexander no shame? After a decade of Labour/Unionist Government there are still a million Scots living in poverty. But vote for me and my brother because things might get worse. That’s the message which comes from the manse she and Douglas were born in. Some message! Some manse!

Fortunately for us these people are at the end of their time. There are now enough of us to make the song of Scotland heard. These are the themes of that song. We are an able people. Our self confidence is growing. The economy is not the nation. The economy is the tool of the nation. The nation is what we make of it.

And we will make nothing of it so long as our political leaders try to hold on to power by crying down their own country.

ALEX NEIL MSP

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

A MYTH SHATTERED.  READ HOW AN MSP WORKS, AND FIGHTS UNTIL THERE IS NO TIME LEFT EVEN FOR A FISH SUPPER.

Alex’s working Week

Monday:
Spent the whole day dealing arguing with the Kremlin trained senior officers at North Lanarkshire Council. In North Lanarkshire Council the main qualification for  getting job is to bow to the local Labour mafia. Any hint of having a mind of your own and you’re out. Concepts like consumer choice and customer satisfaction are alien to them. Their motto in dealing with the public is simple: “You’ll dae whi we tell yae”. While recently robbing many of their lower paid workers of up to £6000 a year in reduced wages through their imposition of a “single status” agreement four of the same said senior officers are about to retire early with an average payout of £200,000 and a film star pension for the rest of their natural. Meantime the quality of public services for which they are responsible continue to go to rot. Needless to say they hate my guts as all the Labour MSP’s are too feart to take them on to fight their constituents’ cases for fear of deselect ion. Frankly I love fighting North Lanarkshire Council.

Tuesday:
Morning spent with the Chairman of the Scottish Higher and Further Education Funding Council’s Research Committee. What a contrast with North Lanarkshire Council! The work going on in Scotland’s Colleges and Universities should make us all proud. For example Dundee University is now a worldwide centre of excellence in cancer research. Abertay University in Dundee is a world leader in computer games technology. Glasgow University has just launched an ambitious programme to attract many more foreign students. Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Heriot Watt Universities are leading the way in areas like stem cell technology and lasers. Similarly our Colleges are brimming with new ideas and are struggling to keep up with the increased demands for their services. Very much a good news story for Scotland.

Tuesday afternoon was spent chairing the Parliament’s Enterprise and Culture Committee. The main topic was a roundtable discussion of employability in Scotland and in particular how to help the 35,000 16-19 year olds in Scotland who are not in education, employment or training. Despite all Gordon Brown’s propaganda to the contrary we still have a serious unemployment problem in Scotland. Based on the official figures there are about 240,000 people who are willing and able to work but can’t find a job. Surely it isn’t beyond our wit to put these great human resources to work, for example to build the homes needed to house the 40,000 homeless people we have in Scotland or to training some of them to teach so that we can reduce class sizes to the levels enjoyed by privately educated kids or to address the dire shortage of care workers in many parts of Scotland? Finished off the day at a reception for Help the Aged, where I had to declare an interest!

Wednesday:
Most of today spent in meetings with the STUC, Scottish Passenger Agents Association (incidentally the oldest association of its type in the world), etc. Also attended a school briefing session. The best bit was when one of the youngsters asked the panel of MSP’s if Tony Blair should resign before the Scottish elections in May. John Swinbourne, the pensioners’ MSP, thought he was whispering when he turned to me and said “They should just shoot the bastard”. I’m sure that became these kids’ abiding memory of their first visit to the Scottish Parliament!

Last meeting of the day was about the need to develop clean coal technology in Scotland. We have millions of tons of coal reserves but can only meet our environmental obligations if somehow we can either capture the carbon emissions from burning it or find another way of ensuring it doesn’t enter the atmosphere. The technology is nearly there and it is a Scottish company, Babcocks, who are world leaders in developing it. If we can now perfect this technology we score a double whammy. It means we can use our own huge natural coal resource for energy production in Scotland without damaging the environment and we can create hundreds by jobs by selling the clean coal technology to China, India, USA, South America, etc.

Thursday:
Always the busiest day of the week, with First Ministers Questions, General Questions and loads of visitors to entertain in the Parliament. Today is the third stage of the Adoption Bill, which has been hugely controversial, mainly because of its provisions to allow unmarried and gay couples to adopt. Many people are under the misapprehension that the Bill introduces gay adoption but in fact gay people have been able to adopt children since 1930 in Scotland. What this Bill does is allow gay couples to adopt. The best speech of the day was made by Rosemary Byrne MSP, co-leader along with Tommy Sheridan of Solidarity. She made the point that if a single person adopts a child and then dies the child is left parentless whereas if a couple adopt the child and one of the partners dies the child still has a legal parent and guardian. Along with most of my SNP colleagues I voted for the bill and all its main provisions. Home to Ayr in the late evening after a long day. Got my weekly fish supper at 10 that night from the local chippie but it was too greasy to finish so went to bed still feeling hungry!

Friday:
As we used to say when I worked in America TFFF, thank F for Friday! (The original version was thank God For Friday). Another full day, this time in the constituency, starting with a visit to a primary school in Falkirk. I was taking part in a panel with other MSP’s. The questions from the kids were first class and showed a level of maturity that you couldn’t have found at Labour’s recent conference in Oban. In driving to Falkirk I thought how lucky we are to have an SNP led council there and in particular how lucky we are as a party to have David Alexander as the council Leader. David is one of the band of councillors who could have become an MSP had he so wished but instead took a conscious decision to stick with local government. He is truly dedicated and dealing superbly with all the pressures which come with running a local authority these days. I just wish we had more David Alexanders!

Stopped off at the Motherwell office next to discuss constituency cases. One particularly horrendous one was how an old man was kept in police custody over the weekend for a minor offence, was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack while there and nobody told his family about it. Apparently police procedure is NOT to tell relatives when something like this happens, an issue I am now taking up with the Chief Constable of Strathclyde Police.

My last meeting was in Kilmarnock after which another late night home, ready for a busy weekend campaigning!

Roll on the Christmas Recess!

Alex

 

THE CASE AGAINST TRIDENT 2

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

Mike MacKenzie takes a thoughtful look at the arguments 

To bomb or not to bomb? That is the question. At one end of this question there are lunatic fringe peaceniks. At the other, bomb everyone Neo Cons. Where am I?

I am not in the apathetic middle with those who think, I don’t really know so we’d better just play safe and have Trident 2. I am not there with those who trust Tony Blair or any of his spineless colleagues. These are colleagues without enough courage to disagree with the man but who have enough to wage war. At least Robin Cook and Clare Short had courage enough to resign. 

One argument runs that we have had no major wars since 1945. We have had nuclear weapons since 1945. Ergo nuclear weapons prevent war. An illogical conclusion and a gross oversimplification! 

Another regards Trident as a form of insurance. Who exactly are the beneficiaries of this dubious policy? We may as well take out insurance against the possibility of a meteor landing on our heads. 

If a nuclear weapon is used against us and those who survive the first blast face the slow misery of radiation sickness they will know that the policy has failed. Will they take consolation in knowing that somewhere under the oceans is a submarine that will fire off a few missiles in retaliation? Somehow I doubt it. 

They talk about the nuclear deterrent. All sane men would agree that it is a deterrent but it will not be a sane man who presses the button. All technological improvements including weapons have a tendency to proliferate. So it is with nuclear weapons and so it was with the sword, the crossbow and the gun. 

It takes little imagination to make war or to arm oneself to the teeth as a defence against it. Lack of the imagination to think of a better solution leaves us endlessly condemned to fight each other for eternity or until Armageddon. I believe that human beings have the capacity to be better and smarter than this. 

War has always been about a fight over resources. The physicists, the modern alchemists, can now turn lead into gold. We can make any resource we need in abundance provided we have abundant energy and our planet is bathed in it. Technology has placed the Holy Grail within our grasp and we have not grabbed it. Policy makers are looking backwards and not forwards. 

Take the £25 billion for Trident 2 and commit it to solving this energy problem. Take a lot more if necessary. Make the cake big enough so that everyone gets a big slice. We can create resources enough for everyone. 

Everyone is tough in war. Let us be tough on the causes of war and if we must spend on defence let it be on defence that we spend and not on futile retaliation.

ON FEMINISM

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

IN ONE OF OUR EARLIER ISSUES WE HAD A TILT AT FEMINISM. IT PROVOKED A LOT OF COMMENT. WE ARE PROUD TO PRINT THIS PIECE UNDER THE PEN NAME OF ‘ARIZONA STONE’. (Don’t ask about the name. We don’t know either.)

Feminism is rather a difficult word these days.  Some feminists believe in equal rights for men and women, while others are pushing a female-chauvinist agenda that seeks to tip the scales in the favour of women.  Both sides are wrestling with the terminology, but meanwhile, in wider society, ‘feminist’ is now quite likely to conjure up stereotypical images of hard-faced, shaven-headed, anti-male lesbians in dungarees.

This is a far cry from Mrs Pankhurst and the noble suffragettes of the early twentieth century who endured the cruelties of the Act of Parliament nicknamed the ‘Cat and Mouse Act’, being force-fed in order to prevent them from committing suicide on hunger strike.  Yet thanks to such people (and the ‘proving ground’ of the munitions factories of the First World War, where the value of women workers was recognised), women achieved partial success in 1918 when those over 30 were given voting rights, and in 1928 those over 21 were also granted the franchise.  It should come as no surprise that changes in society are reflected in our use of language.  Modern Britain has no need for the word ‘suffragette’, except when educating people about a very important and often brutal stage of our all-too-recent history.  Consider therefore the possibility that ‘feminist’ and ‘feminism’ are similarly becoming redundant thanks to the progress we have made, in the last few decades, towards greater equality of opportunity, regardless of gender.

Feminism originally referred to the nineteenth and twentieth-century movement that sought equal rights for women.  The earliest quotations supporting this definition of the word in the Oxford English Dictionary date from the 1890s and include the following from a Daily Chronicle article in 1898: ‘The lady Parliamentary reporter is the latest development of the feminist movement in New Zealand’.  Equality of rights was understood to be the goal of feminism up until at least the 1960s, but from about the 1970s onwards, the uses and meanings of the word have drifted in different directions.

In 2006, there are still many unresolved human rights issues across the world, and the need for the ‘human rights activist’ is still keenly felt.  But in modern British society, the rights of women are protected by law and although that does not prevent abuses of power, such abuses are at least no longer sanctioned by our legislation.  In some cases, the scales have perhaps tipped too far the other way.  Organisations such as Fathers for Justice certainly suggest that some legal battles of the sexes are still ongoing in our country.

In mainstream western society, a great deal of progress has been made towards the legal equality of the sexes during the course of the twentieth century. When my great-aunt was born, in the early 1900s, the general male population had (quite recently) achieved the right to vote, but women were still disenfranchised.  My great-aunt grew up in a large family in which the boys automatically received an education but the girls did not.  Fortunately, showing a great aptitude in her youth, she was successful enough to win a bursary prize which enabled her to study at Glasgow University (which had, since the late nineteenth century, begun to accept women as students).

When she graduated and became a teacher, however, she had no option but to live with her sister because her pay was considerably less than that of a man doing the same job and it would have been very difficult (and certainly unacceptable by her family and social circle’s standards) for her to support herself as a single woman.  Although there is still an identifiable pay-gap in some areas of employment, much has been achieved.  The ability for women to control their own fertility has had an immense impact on the way that our society functions and has given recent generations a great deal more control over major decisions in their lives.

Many of the loudest voices of feminism in the 1960s have since been side-tracked into debates about appearance, dress and character which have not helped the feminist movement.  Notions of ‘letting down the sisterhood’ are divisive and lend themselves to unhelpful snap-judgements.  Stereotypical notions of ‘male’ or ‘female’ behaviour also do us no favours.  Only a sexist would accuse a woman of ‘acting like a man’.  What does it mean to act like a man?  If a woman is objective or assertive, surely she has as much right to choose that behaviour as a man has to be conciliatory or passive.  If a woman chooses to wear high-heels, she might not have the best interests of her spinal column at heart, but does she deserve to be accused of pandering to men, simply because of personal preference?  Equality has to allow both genders to express themselves freely.

Unfortunately, such a clamour of superficial, judgemental attitudes has been heard from many self-styled feminists that they have often undermined their own arguments.  Stereotypes are always unhelpful, and an open expression of personal choice or belief should not make someone a target for abuse (whether that involves wearing a veil or wearing a mini-skirt).  Inevitably however, re-entering the subjective realm, there are some grey areas.  Personally, I am averse to the idea that non-essential surgery might become commonplace, as in many cases this is a simple case of commercial exploitation of human insecurity.

Nevertheless, if someone is genuinely depressed because of a physical characteristic, should they be forced to endure it?  No two people are the same.  But issues that were once regarded as primarily ‘female’, such as body-shape and weight gain can be equally troubling for men, and indeed the cause of feminism has sometimes been in danger of overshadowing the fact that men are also victims of domestic violence and sexual discrimination.  It is important to stand up against abuses, but perhaps we should advocate ‘Zero tolerance of violence’ (full stop), rather than ‘Zero tolerance of violence against women’.  Wouldn’t that be more equal?

In conclusion, I would therefore suggest that anyone who believes in equality of rights should celebrate the demise of the use of the word ‘feminist’, and be glad that, at least in certain parts of the so-called civilized west, we no longer need it.  Elsewhere, however, in the towns and cities where rendition flights deposit their human cargo, in the jails we don’t even know exist, and in the sweat-shops from which we purchase so many of our nice, cheap, convenient products, there is still a need for other forms of activism.  But that’s another story…

EX-PROFESOR SPARELOCK JONES HAS A TALE TO TELL.

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

(Sometime Professor of Polytheism at Divinity Hall. Now Principal of Paisley Ladies College.)

You will be relieved dear readers to know that I am at liberty again. Out on bail after the lodgement of a considerable sum! Fortunately I have little use for money and the damn stuff just accumulates.

I am assaulted by a rape charge and the only weapon I can avail myself of in my defence is a certain detachment; an academic detachment. I am not concerned with the charge because of course, as in most such situations, there were no witnesses. My lawyer is complacently optimistic on this front but as you might imagine it is not solely this that concerns me.

No it is not the legalities which tax me; rather it seems to me that, logically speaking, I have two problems. The first of these is of course my reputation. My reputation has been devastated, my employment terminated and my friends are ignoring me. It is no use protesting my innocence. Yes, the young lady and I had intimate relations. From my perspective, and I had thought from hers, they were amicable. Indeed it had seemed to me that amicable is not a strong enough term for the friendship we consummated. I would venture to use the words, romantic, delightful, even passionate to describe our tussle.

I can only suppose that on reflection, after a day or two, the young lady decided on a different interpretation of the events than I had supposed she would. Somehow I must have got the elaborate subtleties of our courtship ritual quite wrong. This leaves me at a loss for I cannot see how the signals were misinterpreted but obviously they were. I am like a peacock who hasn’t realised that one of his feathers is twisted or is not as bright as he though it was and without benefit of a mirror.

Even the police say mine is the lesser form of rape whatever that means for it is one of those words which is absolute. You cannot half rape someone. You cannot partially rape someone. So in the public and the private eye I am judged along with those who commit the crime at gun or knife point or who beat their victims.

The second problem is that I am still a virile man and single. How do I avoid this situation in future?  Am I condemned to live out my life as a monk?  I can find no virtue whatsoever in celibacy. A second charge would undoubtedly see me condemned immediately.

I can see only one solution. If I should be fortunate enough to find myself once again in intimate circumstances with a lady I must make certain there are witnesses. My lawyer almost said as much.  You will forgive me a bit of a smile for already I can see the glimmer of possibilities.    

 

NOTHING SAYS I LOVE YOU LIKE A JCB

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

Mike MacKenzie solves two of Easdale Island’s problems with one JCB

I had an urgent errand in Glasgow yesterday. Our ferry was off because Argyll and Bute Council have delayed and delayed in dredging the entrance to our harbour and it is closed over except at very high tide. I managed to get off in a small boat launched through the surf, but got stuck on the mainland last night.

I managed to get back again this afternoon again in a small boat running the gauntlet of the surf from a big swell. Great fun!

I bought a large excavator yesterday and two heroes brought it down today in a barge. The barge was disappearing out of sight in the swell outside Easdale Sound but they came through it all right. The landing with the swell crashing onto the beach was something to see. The excavator is now hard at work dredging the harbour entrance.

For the last fortnight our ferry has hardly run because of this problem. People have been unable to get to and from work and kids (19 of them) have been unable to get to and from school. I have been unable to get on properly with my work.  

My wife was getting very upset about the situation, missing work and so on. So I have bought her this excavator for Christmas. Nothing says I love you like a JCB.

Hopefully this will shame Argyll and Bute Council a bit, although they are quite shameless.

Life on an island is always interesting.

 

Where have all the flowers gone?

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

By Ian Hamilton

An old man will remember the above sad question. It was asked in a song about those lost in Vietnam. Yet there has been a loss to Scotland too. Not in blood, but in politics. The loss is the Scottish Tory Party. Auntie Annabel and her old men represent nothing but wistfulness. We need full-bloodied Scottish Tories, who recognise that independence is coming. Where is Peter Fraser? It would be no surprise were he to morph into a Tory Nationalist. Watch his space.

The decline of his Party was most obvious in their women. First there were the Young Conservatives. It was nice to be young and a Tory, especially after you’d had your hair done. They were all Joan Hunter Dunns and studied physiotherapy. Rude boys could sometimes get into their company. After short, sudden, compliant passion they looked at you with bright eyes and invited you home to meet Mummy and Daddy. I got my running blue at their dances.

We fast forward to the Party Conferences. These are the Young Conservative girls grown up. This is the era of funny hats. They sat in rows and cheered people like Rab Butler, but not the man. The statesman! They no longer had a taste for men. They had a taste for funny hats, and Land of Hope and Glory. My God how they belted it out!

The funny hats gave way to the blue rinse conferences. Still the same women but grown old. Everything was just a little bit sad. Behind the blue rinses there were no more funny hats. Behind the funny hats no more bright-eyed girls. The Conservatives had become static. Hunting girls no longer went to the Young Conservatives. Mrs Thatcher killed them.

She attracted the wrong people. You were more likely to find a used car salesman than a Duke’s son at a Conservative Ball. Girls went elsewhere. They took up single issues in pursuit of single men. Good works were better than sound politics. It was no longer fashionable to be a Tory. And now the blue rinses are dieing out. That was an unintended pun. Those who are left are elderly bottle blondes, and when did you last hear Land of Hope and Glory? Alas! poor Tories. We bore you on our back a thousand times, and now, quite chap-fallen?

But fashions will change again. Already trotting out in hunting pink there’s many a double-barrelled girl. Such a young huntress isn’t going to settle for a man or a party past its sell-by date. Before she reaches for a funny hat her country and her party will be as independent as she is.

Which shows that if you want to read the political auspices don’t bother with policies. When the funny hats change to blue rinses it’s more than time for a joke. It’s time for a new Scottish Conservative Party, and I bet you one’s on the way.

 

RENDITION

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

Update - 7th December 2006

We have received an update on this matter.

At Alloway on 5th December 2006 the Presbytery of Ayr remitted our letter (see below) to their Community and World Concerns Committee. We shall keep you informed. Even a condemnation of rendition and torture will carry great weight with our many readers in the United States, especially with the Presbytery’s association with Alloway and Robert Burns. We have not given up on this subject.

The General Assembly of the Church of Scotland has roundly condemned torture. Who better to monitor Prestwick Airport than the Presbytery of Ayr. We have sent the following letter to the Clerk to Ayr Presbytery and as yet have had neither acknowledgement nor reply. As we would expect, the Procurator has acknowledged receipt. It is too soon to call for peaceful picketing of Mr Crichton’s manse: yet we will not let this sleeping clergyman rest.

Meanwhile we ask as a great playwright once asked, ‘Must a Christ die in torment in every generation to save those who have no imagination?’

24 November 2006    
The Rev James Crichton
Clerk to the Presbytery of Ayr
20 Garden Street
Dalrymple
KA6 6DG      

Dear Mr Crichton,

Rendition Flights: Prestwick Airport

Torture is abhorrent to all moral people. You will be aware that the United Kingdom is a signatory to treaties outlawing it. You will be aware that in the widest read Scottish blog www.ianhamiltonqc.com I condemned your Moderator along with the Dean of the Faculty of Advocates for passing by on the other side while an aeroplane on rendition flight landed at Prestwick.

I now write to ask what steps you are taking to ensure that no such flights still take place. If you are not carrying out a watch for this unchristian practice within your Presbytery will you please explain why not?

I am copying this letter to the Procurator of the Church of Scotland, and to various other public bodies.

This letter and your reply will be published. I assert that as Christians you have a duty to keep a watch for such an abhorrent practice. Do you deny this?

Yours faithfully   
Ian Hamilton

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