Archive for November, 2007

THE NAKED AND THE DEAD

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

A QUICK GLANCE AT OBAN’S COUNCILORS 

 Wages bill £300,000………………income £20,000

These figures are for Oban Airfield. This is a scoop for my blog.

 by Ian Hamilton

Hermless, hermless. There’s never nae bother frae me. I gang tae Lochgilpheid. I mak a wee speech. And then I come hame for ma tea.

 McCaig’s Tower used to be known as McCaig’s folly, but Oban’s folly has nothing to do with McCaig. Oban’s folly is the councilors who represent us. McCaig’s girning in his grave at them.

Take the airfield at Connel. If you ask a question about the cost of running it the Councillors scuttle for cover. They run like frightened fowls, backsides in the air and hands over their vital parts, which are certainly not their heads.

Folly on an international scale is the former North Connel airstrip, now Oban’s new International Airport. Never mind how much it cost. Look how it is run. Before Argyll and Bute Council got its sticky fingers on it the airfield attracted aircraft from all over Europe, at no cost to the public. It was run by a chap called Paul Keegan, who still holds the concession to sell fuel. You landed at any time of the day and Paul welcomed you.

Strike up the band! Unleash the tigers! Enter the Councilors on dogs’ leads led by local government officials.

Look at what they’ve done. Where there was freedom, now there are times for landing. And times when you may not land. And times when no one knows whether you can land or not. Is it a surprise that the number of visiting aircraft has dropped drastically? Is it a surprise that the Councilors have spent millions on arrival and departure lounges in the hope of getting scheduled flights to Glasgow? Counting waiting time, and security-check time you can reach George Square from Argyll Square quicker by car. Do they not know that if they asked for any pilot’s log-book they could see that. In short haul flights, if you’ve time to spare go by air. But that’s not all.

More importantly there’s the running costs This is a scoop for Ian’s blog. I have it on the authority of a scandalised municipal servant that there is now a wage bill at the Airfield of £300,000 per year against an income of £20,000 per year. Eh? Come on some Councilor! Is that figure right or wrong? If so, what are you doing about it? And what’s more. I have it on good authority they want to close the airfield over the Christmas Holidays because they can’t afford the overtime for their employees. Closing a holiday airfield at holiday time! Have our Councilors gone mad? They’re breeding white elephants on Connel Airfield and handing us the bill. And there’s more still.

If they can’t afford the overtime for Christmas how are they going to afford it for the long summer evenings when pilots want to go touring in their aircraft, bringing their families into Connel to spend money in Argyll’s hotels and shops. Has any Councillor asked about this? If so, what is the answer? Will the Airfield be open until summer dusk as it used to be? Or will it close at five to serve the servants? Are the figures leaked to me true or false? Do we have a wages bill at Connel Airfield of £300,000 and an income of £20,000? Have visiting numbers of aircraft gone down since the Council took over running the airfield? If so by how much? Are we getting more for our money or less?

Hand the whole thing back, says the blog. Hand it back to Paul Keegan. If you can’t afford to look after our old folks you can’t afford to speculate our money on a wild airfield adventure. There is not one Councilor who even holds a private pilot’s licence. If anyone set out to run an airfield business they wouldn’t employ one of them as a director? Not on your life! I hear they’re buying a Jumbo Jet for Council freebies. Will the Councilors dare to answer? Will they hell!

The comment box below is as long as an expenses sheet. Unlike an expenses sheet it’s likely to remain empty. Write away, Councilors. Write away. The blog is open to you all.  

THE LAW BY WHICH WE LIVE

Sunday, November 25th, 2007
Mike MacKenzie, Argyll and Bute’s next MP has his say on…………..
‘Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler’

Einstein 
I am a reluctant number cruncher. I remain solvent only so long as I get my sums right. The wolf is ever only a long leap from the door and behind him an army of lawyers, accountants, bankers, tax inspectors and sheriff’s officers. That is the lot of anyone in business. That is the law by which we live; the merciless discipline of the numbers.

In time this discipline like all disciplines repays devotion and becomes less demanding. In Dickensian times numbers were crunched by armies of clerks, scratching their quills on large leafed ledgers. Today technology has given us the calculator and the computer. The spreadsheet has become our slave. Like never before we can bend the numbers and make them bow to our will.

Yet, still at the heart of government, in the dusty corridors of Whitehall, the complacent and conservative civil service cling to obsolescent concepts. Budgets are bound by rigid and unbending formula, described in arcane jargon, designed to baffle and bamboozle.

I have approached such formulae in terror, drawn to them by overwhelming curiosity, like a child drawn to a haunted house. I have approached these formulae as a challenge. Would they defeat me with demanding algebra? Would they defy my understanding with dizzying arithmetical conundrums? Would they leave me bewildered and browbeaten?

The first to fall was the Arbuthnot formula, that hallowed, holistic means of apportioning health service budgets. According to this formula Argyll and Clyde Health Board had overspent its budget by a hundred million pounds. I could not believe that our doctors and nurses and managers were any worse or any better in Argyll and Clyde than anywhere else. I was determined to crack the code.

It took a long time to lay my hands on this elusive formula. Everyone knew it and referred to it in hushed and reverent tones. No one seemed to have seen it. No one seemed to understand it; neither clinicians nor health service managers. Eventually after months of persistence I got it. It lay on my desk for weeks, weighty and forbidding, before I dared approach it. At last I cracked it open and ploughed through jargon and dense language designed, I discovered, to disguise a dreadful falsehood. Far from being the complex formula I imagined, its fatal flaw was its inflexible simplicity. Argyll and Clyde had never overspent. Government had simply got its sums wrong.

Next in line was the so called ‘Green Book’ by which local authority budgets are calculated. Shrouded in mystery and surrounded in arcane accountancy conventions, at first it seems clever beyond the ken of any but mathematical magicians. But once again when the smoke and mirrors of calculating convention are cleared away the formula is clarified as far from complex. Rather than sophisticated tools for matching expenditure to need the sums are once again silly in their simplicity.

Hidden away in the pages of this green book is the flawed SINA formula; another overly simplistic and sinister calculation which does not bear scrutiny. Argyll and Bute’s fortunes are not favoured by its false accounting.

I am far now from being frightened by these formula and Barnett’s, the most terrible of all, now beckons slyly with a come hither glance. What surprising secrets will it yield under scrutiny?

Our challenge in this age of computerised processing power is to replace these blunt instruments with tools much sharper and precise. If we had but wit and will to use our technology, truthfully and transparently we would release the power and poetry of elegant formulae to carry out sophisticated sums. We who pay the piper should call the tune. But first it must be heard and understood by all. 
N.B  The Arbuthnot formula has now been discredited and Arbuthnot (ii) is out for consultation. 

 

De Profundis

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

Ian reflects

Now that I’m a quarter of my way through my ninth decade I get comfort from a line of song. It is said to have been sung by RFC pilots in 1916. Here’s the line.

This world’s a world of lies.

That is my philosophy. We are told lies in our childhood when we have developed no power of reasoning to resist them. We are taught that there’s a God.

‘Do you promise to bring up (this child) in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?’ asks the Church of Scotland baptismal service. God’s work is full of leading questions. So deeply ingrained is the consequent teaching that it sticks with most people all their lives. Very, very few convert to another religion from that of their childhood or throw off the initial indoctrination. Many believe in God yet there is not a scrap of evidence for the God myth. Not a scrap of evidence for our creation. We are because we are.

This world is as likely to be a plate carried on the backs of four tortoises as it is to be the Eden illusion of Biblical creation. Round the edge of the plate we crawl back to where we came from and say in wonder, ‘It’s orbis terrarum’.

In our turn we pass on illusions to our children. From generation to generation in unbroken chain we say there is meaning and hope. The great joy is that there is no meaning and no hope. If only we could preach to all humankind that life and curiosity is sufficient gift to our species! Not dull old bad-tempered Jehovah with his ill defined heaven, available only if we satisfy some ill-defined test the syllabus for which is in eternal dispute. Few have the curiosity to seek the syllabus. It vanishes when you do.

I thank whatever Gods there be for the gift of curiosity. We aye want to know what happens next. Yet I would as lief miss what happened before my birth as I will miss what happens after my death. Can we change either? Who knows, but if I could start again with the wisdom and learning of my years I would trade age for youth against all eternity. Think what Einstein might have achieved second time round if he had done a Dr Faustus.

Here is what a great playwright wrote, perhaps a man who would have been greater than Shakespeare if he hadn’t disputed that it was his turn to buy a round.

The clock strikes eleven.

‘Faustus! Now hast thou but one bare hour to live
And then thou must be damned perpetually!’
 
‘Stand still ye ever moving spheres of Heaven
That time may cease and midnight never come.’

‘O lente lente currite noctis equi……….. The devil will come and Faustus must be damned.’
 
‘See, see where Christ’s blood streams in the firmament. One drop would save my soul, half a drop, ah my Christ!
……ah,spare me Lucifer.’

Pretty terrifying stuff if you were just emerging from the Middle Ages. They burned you at the stake then if you didn’t accept the teachings of Augustine of Hippo. Kit Marlow wasn’t afraid…or not too afraid. But then he wasn’t silent either about his love for boys and poetry. Maybe that’s why they killed him.

Would that the offer Faustus took still stood today! I’d take my learning on and serve Hell’s time.

But all is ending.

Yet! I could be wrong. Maybe I’ll find I am of the elect like Ayr Presbytery itself. Old Hippo says all is predestined, so it must be true. He it was who united the Mithras cult with the half-forgotten myths of a long dead Jewish Rabbi. He it was who turned the mix into that power over the minds of ordinary people the Roman Emperors had always dreamed of….that George Bush dreams of still…..that Tony Blair now accepts. Tony kept truth hidden from us by the phrase, ‘We don’t do God.’ He feared the electorate might think him a ‘nutter’. He was. A dangerous, fraudulent religious nutter, and our youth are still dying for his silly God.

God or no God, Gods or no Gods, the tortoise will fall on my head as surely as it fell on the head of poor bald Aeschylus.  Or more fittingly a stone will fall on my head, as the foretold stone fell on the head of True Thomas. He had been told his fate but tried to avoid it by wearing a steel hat. Just as he lifted the fortified hat at the Elevation of the Host a stone fell from the roof of the Church and killed him. That stone, and the futility of the fortified hat, was the predestination of the medieval Church incarnate.

Things are predestined! How could I forget that! We have no free will. It is all pre-ordained. Then it doesn’t matter that I don’t believe! Maybe, for one short eternity, I’ll preside over Ayr Presbytery in Hell. Maybe meet the Reverent Arthur Christie in heaven. There is hope after all! Maybe I’m a Saint! I see a rabble of plebeians, silenced by the Word of God! I see visions! I hear trumpets!

Oh Thou who madest heaven and earth. When will it be ready to receive Thy Saints? How long, oh Lord? How Long?

 

Being There

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

Dougie Lockhart has walked from Dumbarton to Spain. Now he sits down and thinks of his and our futures.

 

In the sciences, the test of understanding is the ability to predict.  The test is seldom applied in the world of political commentary.  Political pundits seem to enjoy the same exemption from objective evaluation as fortune tellers. If their predictions are wrong, then some external factor is to blame; the prediction still stands, and would have been correct had things stayed as they were at the time it was made.  Or some such story. 

Of course when they turn out to be right, there is a great deal of self-congratulation and I-told-you-soing, but again it is like the fortune teller, who trumpets his successes while carefully omitting to mention his rather more numerous failures.

On the whole though, I think the newspaper pundits are careful to avoid prediction, aware of the risks.   You can be as speculative as you wish about the past, where the facts, or some version of them, are known.  As to the future, the various popular prophets claim to have predicted only what we already know has happened.  You can be abducted by aliens in their flying saucer and whisked away past the rings of Saturn, but only much more recently would you have spied the rings of Uranus through the porthole – they weren’t discovered by earthlings until 1977. Before then our involuntary astronauts make no mention of them.

I, on the other hand, being natively incautious, like to test my political understanding by making predictions.  I’m afraid to say that so far my record as a prophet has not been at all encouraging.  I think my most confident prediction of recent times was that Gordon Brown would never become Prime Minister.  Even when every pundit in every publication was treating the Brown succession as inevitable I still couldn’t, wouldn’t believe it.  Lumbering, dull, inarticulate and (worst of all) Scottish, he would so assuredly guarantee Labour defeat at the next General Election that he was impossible as a choice.  I suppose this sneakily allows me to argue that my prediction was at least partially right – he got the job, and it has had the effect I said it would.  If I might be permitted another prediction on the back of that: things can only get worse.

Some measure of Brown’s difficulty might be found in the fact that a warning to him to pull his socks up has come from John McFall, MP for West Dunbartonshire.  This is interesting because Mr McFall is the absolute acme of yes-men.  Compared with Mr McFall, your common, work-a-day yes-man is the epitome of contrarian cussedness.  Here is a digest of Mr McFall’s voting from theyworkforyou.com:

Voted strongly against a transparent Parliament.
Voted very strongly for introducing a smoking ban.
Voted strongly for introducing ID cards.
Voted very strongly for introducing foundation hospitals.
Voted strongly for introducing student top-up fees.
Voted strongly for Labour’s anti-terrorism laws.
Voted very strongly for the Iraq war.
Voted very strongly against investigating the Iraq war.
Voted very strongly for replacing Trident.
Voted very strongly for the hunting ban.
Voted moderately for equal gay rights.
Never before in British politics has such an egregious line been so meticulously toed.   When a creature like this speaks out against you, you know you have little support left in the ranks.

Brown seems to have a great deal in common with his protégé, Wendy Alexander.  Both carried a reputation for cerebrality which became difficult to account for on closer acquaintance.  Looking at both, but perhaps more particularly Brown, I am reminded of Hal Ashby’s movie, Being There.  Peter Sellers plays the part of Chance the gardener, a simpleton whose vacuous pronouncements are mistaken for profundity.  By the end of the movie it appears that this imbecile is heading for the White House – alas, an idea not so comically far-fetched now as it must have seemed when the film was made in 1979.  It seems that Brown’s reputation has rested entirely upon his previous and notable silence while in Number 11.  Brought out into the daylight, he has shrunk – the Wizard was just a man behind a curtain after all.

So will Brown be replaced?  Will Labour lose the next election?  If Brown is replaced can Labour win?  What do all of these outcomes mean for Scotland?  Haven given fair warning of my unreliability as a prophet, let me examine the entrails.  That McFall has spoken out suggests that replacement is at least under consideration – such an automatic party-liner would never break ranks and so we must assume he is the proxy for many.  But it’s a hard choice: Brown remaining and Brown being replaced seem equally damaging prospects.  As yet there are no grounds for resignation - or none that Brown would see as such: how depressing that a political leader might resign because of bad poll ratings, but not because of his complicity in an illegal war which has killed tens of thousands.  However the Labour tendency is to brazen things out and hope the voters forget, or still can’t bring themselves to vote Tory (I’m only thinking of England here, as I’m sure that’s all Labour will do).  

So I guess he’ll stay.  So the Tories will win the next General Election.  So fiscal autonomy for Scotland is highly likely; it’s Tory policy, and may be the last ditch concession to save the Union.   David Cameron and the Daily Telegraph seem to have decided as much already.  And so we finally arrive at the prediction of interest – Alex Salmond’s claim that Scotland would be independent by 2017.  Well, what he actually said was this: “What you can take from the 2017 target is that we are confident we are going to have the [economic] levers by the time we get to 2017″.   Entirely plausible, when you think it through.
  

 

Home

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

Mhairi Livingstone Ross concludes her father’s moving account of prisoner of war camp and ultimate release.

 

As the years of war slowly dragged on, the men became ever resourceful in finding ways to make their captivity bearable and to alleviate boredom. Graham Hopper was known as “Der Professor” and, with his spectacles and, shining domed head, looked very much like the statistician he was in civilian life. He was concerned that, as months of captivity became years, the spirit of the men would be ground down. He decided to set about starting a theatre company in the camp and enlisted the help of Alasdair Carmichael-“the bishop”- as playwright.

Christmas 1942 saw the premiere of “Babes in the Wood”-a pantomime. Courtiers, princes and princesses, wandering minstrels, wicked stepmother and fairy godmother shared the stage with the “Babes”, Jeannie and Wullie. John the Lawyer played Third Huntsman and, if the reviews on his treasured programme are to be believed, he acted his role well. The preparations gave the men a new impetus and enthusiasm. Sets had to be designed and built; clothing purloined and adapted to make costumes; carpenters, electricians and painters had to beg, borrow, steal or invent ways of achieving their objectives; scripts written, chorus and orchestra assembled and rehearsed, make-up made up and applied, scenery planned and painted, programmes designed and printed. The effort involved in producing the show acted as a great unifier. New friendships, which would last beyond war, were formed, — comrades in arms and comrades in captivity.

The pain felt by many at being far from home, especially at Christmas was, in some way, alleviated by pantomimes and concerts. Guards and guarded would unite in carol singing, both with their own thoughts of family and home and Johnny’s hymn book, snow-stained at Stille Nacht, was to evoke bitter-sweet memories in the years to come.

New Year was, traditionally, a more important festival in the Highlands and, being a prisoner in Germany would do nothing to detract from that. With eager anticipation, the teuchters waited for the “bells”. For months, they had taken it in turn to secretly fish potatoes out of the store using a nail on a stick. An engineer with some basic knowledge of chemistry, was coerced into putting his skills to use. He extracted enough alcohol from meths to make a base for the brew. Raisins, potatoes, boot polish and anything that could be found, were added to the preparation by a couple of Islay lads who could be expected to know a thing or two about distilling. It would be a Hogmanay to remember!

Unfortunately, when they buried their uisge beatha between two huts, the ground was soft and easily turned over. When they came to dig it up in time for New Year, frost had rendered exhumation impossible. The ground was frozen solid. Celebrations and reputations were distinctly diminished that year, which was probably just as well as the traditional Ne’erday shinty match was due to take place in a few hours. With the reappearance of the pipes and a measure of home comforts, Bleicherode camp was better than some and Johnny grew accustomed to waiting out the war in this pleasant corner of Germany.

The camp commandant was eager to photograph the men if it provided an opportunity for propaganda. Official camp photos would be sent home, showing how well the men were being looked after and what the Germans were doing for them. It was illegal to photograph anything without an official stamp. Ingenuity was called for .The ubiquitous potato again came into its own. A slice was taken and a newly stamped photo was urgently acquired. The potato was placed on the stamp, the resulting image transferred to paper and the process repeated to render the stamp the right way round. Many illegal and informal snaps were taken this way and avoided detection. Had they been discovered, their architects could have been shot.

 As the years dragged on, the guards and prisoners became, if not friends, at least understanding of one another. Regulations were more relaxed and guards, on pain of being shot if one escaped, were allowed to sign out prisoners on a Sunday, to help them in their own gardens and homes. Johnny was able to meet civilians for the first time in many years and came to have an understanding of, and respect for, many who made his ordeal bearable. There were many happy times to counter the sad.
 
The overriding thoughts in most minds were of home and family. Johnny would compose poems to ease the longing and, though these would not find a home amongst the great literature of our time, were written with genuine emotion and real pathos. They summed up what most in the camp felt.

In the years after the war, Johnny, like many of his comrades, would speak reluctantly and only occasionally of what he had been through and the experiences he had suffered. He would remember the Englishman with a hole in both cheeks where a bullet had entered one and exited the other. He would recall Jackie MacRae from Lochcarron, who, one summer, stretched up from his seat on the back of a truck to pick a ripe plum from an overhanging branch, only to fall backwards and break his neck. He would laugh gently when he remembered the time two anxious parents, working in a nearby allotment, constantly checked on their young child who appeared to cry when they were at the bottom of the field but was always asleep when they came to comfort it. They never did discover that Tommy MacMillan could imitate a baby’s cry with uncanny accuracy and used his talent to the great annoyance of the Germans. Most of all, he remembered his comrades, men like himself, who had been wrenched from their ordinary lives and sent to hell.

      As the summer of 1944 waned, events on the Western front were signalling a change in fortune for the allies. The German guards in Bleicherode became more tolerant and eventually allowed the men permission to go beyond the camp perimeter to swim in a pool in the river. Safe in the knowledge that it could never be disproved, one of the prisoners had regularly boasted his prowess at swimming. Before the war, he had been a champion. Before the war, he could out-swim practically anyone. Before the war, he had been an ace diver. On the first outing to the pool, he was put to the test. He dived spectacularly from the plank and executed a clean entry into the water. He failed to take account of the water only being a few feet deep, however, and it was only when his legs began to flail about and he showed no sign of surfacing, that his pals set about pulling him out. His head and arms were well and truly stuck in the sand and it took some time to free him. His life was saved but his reputation as a swimmer was somewhat diminished.

Ajax was an Alsatian belonging to one of the guards. He had his wires crossed at some point in his training, because, despite numerous corrective lessons, he was happier in the company of the prisoners than on duty as a guard dog. He joyfully accompanied the men to the river but invariably ended up being rescued. Ajax couldn’t swim. Again, resourcefulness was called for. Here was an ally that needed help. Ajax was collared, measured and fitted with water wings to allow him the delight of playing in the river with the men—-a small gesture to a dumb animal but significant in showing that basic human kindness can overcome many adversities.

As March turned to April in 1945, it became clear that the tide had turned and Germany was losing the war. Guards and their officers became nervous and agitated. Increasingly, gunfire could be heard to the west and the nearby town of Nordhausen, home of the V1 and V2 vengeance weapons factory, was being bombed nightly. The men in camp 1401 were caught between fear from danger of friendly fire and desperation to be liberated.

The Germans were becoming anxious and doing all in their power to clear all the camps in the area .The first few days of April became a blur. Chaos and confusion accompanied the men as they were hustled along the road from Bleicherode. As the allies advanced, so the Germans retreated until, one day, Johnny realised the guards had disappeared. For the first time in five years, he walked the road a free man. He was 39,weighed less than six stone and carried only what he was able to cram into his kit bag.
 
Far away, from an abandoned radio came, unbelievably, unmistakably, the haunting strains of The Eriskay Love Lilt, filling the air with the sound of home. Over the hill behind him, he thought he heard a familiar but long-forgotten sound. Turning, he saw the Stars and Stripes fluttering on a radio antenna. The first tank belonging to the 174th Battalion of U.S. Artillery come over the rise.

Johnny’s war was over.

 

 

 

Ian’s diary for cold-hearted November

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

Pirated editions of Labour Party press releases are appearing in the Herald under the by-line of Douglas Fraser. Should someone not tell Lord Ffoulkes of Ffun of this fflagrant breach of copyright?

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WOE. WOE. THE HERALD 

Why is it that whenever the future looks bright The Herald finds something to complain about? The abject tone of this once great paper makes bleak November reading.

Also their news sense is bizarre. Should this issue’s ffigure of ffun ffall and break his ff****** neck, be sure that The Herald would lead with a story about Wendy’s poodle. Well mmmmybe it’s the same ththththing.

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Ninety years on and still giving joy to thousands. Hail to Cyril Gerber, Dean of art dealers, and lover of all things fine.

His two basement shops are the bright lights of Glasgow’s West Regent Street. One wonders what the dealer buys, one half so lovely as the goods he sells. More paintings, we think.

Cyril is not really a dealer. He is a collector whose collection is so big he hasn’t room for it all. We once bought a picture from him. I swear he parted with it with tears of loss. Happy Birthday, Cyril..

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A new edition of my autobiography A Touch of Treason will appear next summer.

When I was writing it twenty years ago I let slip that I was considering two chapter headings……GIRLS I HAVE SHARED WITH SHERIFFS. ………..and ……….JUDGES I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO LEAVE PUBS WITH.

I had no such intention, but it was interesting the number of people with guilty consciences who threatened to sue me if I went ahead.

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I must be more careful what I write about my legal colleagues. I had been eighteen months retired before they noticed the jails were a bit less crowded and deduced that I had gone. They dined me out.

It was the first time that the whole profession was represented at a dinner: judges, sheriffs, QCs, advocates, solicitors, procurators fiscal, clerks of court, advocates clerks, a journalist and my wife, a first for equality. Or maybe they were celebrating that I had gone.

I am very proud. Thank you all very much.

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The missing lady.

No one alone can produce a blog. There’s not time to find quotations. Everyone needs a mysterious lady to do their work. Writing is easy when the thoughts come ready made in quotations. I acknowledge the immense help of such a one. No person ever had a better helper. I wish I could name her and praise her but she blushes.

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Petrolheads

I ride a Honda Hornet 600cc motor cycle, reputed to do 140 mph. But so what? It’s maintaining speed on Argyll’s twisting roads that makes an old man’s challenge. I have a clean licence and intend to keep it that way.

Dullards say that in my eighties I should stick to a car. Right enough I tried. I bought a Mini Cooper S, reputed to be as fast as a bike, but who wants speed? It’s just a car. 4000 miles on the clock. Clean. I’d sell it if I could get a reasonable price. Cars are dull.

Motorbikes are eternal fun. Yes. They are dangerous. I fear diesil spills most of all. There are patches of diesil on most roads and with a touch of rain on them adhesion vanishes.

Yet look at this. Near me there are several sets of granny and grampa hutches for the old unwanted. Who wants to live and die in one of these? I would rather be hurled like Excalibar in a great parabolic curve into the wind. I’m a romantic. I want to die as I have lived.

SHAMELESS SELF-ADVERTISING

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

In these days of shameless self-advertising I announce that a new edition of my book STONE OF DESTINY will be published by Birlinn in June to coincide with the general release of the film of the book.

Below is my flier for the book. I would like Birlinn to use it but I’m not sure if they will. Birlinn have their own style and I have mine.

Here it is. You will see it until you’re sick of it.

STONE OF DESTINY

by Ian Hamilton QC

This is the story of the Stone of Destiny…of how last century it went backwards and forwards between England and Scotland. Stolen, recovered, and then sent back on loan.

The Stone is first mentioned three millennia ago in the Bible as Jacob’s pillow. From there the Scots brought it into history. By this humble Stone they knew themselves. For a thousand years they crowned their kings on it.

Then in 1296 Edward of England invaded and carried it off as spoils of war. He had a special chair made for it, The Coronation Chair

It lay century after century in Westminster Abbey, protected only by the mystique of a great English church. But people who keep stolen property in their church have it coming to them. This story is about how it came. In 1950, Ian and three other Glasgow students broke into Westminster Abbey and carried it off.

Believing  it belongs to the Scottish people they left it at the High Altar of Arbroath Abbey where in 1320 the Scots made their famous Declaration…..So long as one hundred of us remain alive we will never give in to the domination of the English…..

The Stone was taken back to England where it was kept until its return in 1996, when Elizabeth Second kindly loaned it to us. It is now in Edinburgh Castle. In this book Ian recounts how he refused to attend the ceremony of its return.

‘You don’t celebrate when the woman next door lends you your own property,’ says Ian

But did Ian and his friends return the Stone they stole? In a dashing foreword he answers that question.

Ian says, ‘After that adventure I had to do something pure, dead, common and boring so I became a QC’.

 

 

 

 

Lesley Riddoch

Sunday, November 25th, 2007

Lesley has just published a book on the Hebrides.

A great read as a four star review in the Scotsman testifies.

Riddoch;on the Outer Hebrides — published by Luath
www.lesleyriddoch.com
 
Lesley Riddoch
Jamesfield Farmhouse, Newburgh, Cupar, Fife, Scotland, KY14 6EW,Â