Archive for April, 2008

A TREASON OF IDEAS

Friday, April 25th, 2008

by Ian Hamilton

Total belief in anything is treason against everything. I owe that position to my Christian upbringing. I ended not believing a bloody word. One great truth remains. Never believe what anyone tells you; especially if he’s a minister of religion. A minister taught me fear of Hell. He taught me so well that when I was nine years old I went into convulsions and had to be taken home in a taxi. I suffered from claustrophobic fear. The worst crimes are committed by those who know they are right.

It was my parents who made me go to church. They grew up in an age of certainty. The Great War changed all that and in 1925 I was born into a world of doubts. I have had doubts ever since. Physically I was like any other baby, all covered in blood and snot. I cannot claim to like the new born young. I do not like them until they have ideas.

The first idea a child has is possession.  ‘That’s mine,’ says the child very early on. The next idea is less corporeal. It is a moral judgement. Every child makes it. ‘That’s not fair,’ says the child first with regard to its own affairs; a little later with regard to someone else.  Ownership and fairness are the two basic cerebral ideas of the human race. Other animals have a glimmering of possession. We alone of fairness. If I could frame a definition of fairness I would be one with the Greek philosophers. Yet I bet you children said ‘It’s not fair,’ before ethics were first discussed by the Greeks two thousand five hundred years ago. My bet is that on 8th May 585 BC when there was an eclipse of the sun some child shouted, ‘It’s not fair. It’s getting dark too early.’ The date of the eclipse is traditionally given as the start of the Greek Enlightenment. Children had a system of ethics before the philosophers. There is no proof of that, only a logical extrapolation backwards from present day observation.

This book is about possession and fairness. The former has never much interested me; the latter made me a lawyer and passionate for freedom. If you’re not free you can’t think. If you’re not free you’re not allowed to say, ‘It’s not fair’. I’m passionate about being fair. I’m passionate about being free.

………………………………………………………………………………

These are the first words of the book I’m writing. It will be a long time before it’s finished. It is an autobiography of ideas.

I’m eighty-two. Everyone should publish their autobiograhy of ideas and maybe I haven’t all that more time.

I publish these ideas because I was flattered to learn thet James Robertson, author of the Testament of Gideon Mack, reads my blog.

If such an author reads what I have to say then maybe it’s worth saying.

IRH 

NOT A BAWBEE MORE FOR THE SPECTATOR

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008

Dear Editor,

You ask why I have cancelled my subscription.

In the last few years your commentators have progressively lost touch with reality. You won’t have noticed this because you are part of the problem. You are a local paper and nothing else. Once people looked to London as the capital of a United Kingdom. This is no longer so. It is now not even the capital of England. There is no one there to call out in time of crisis, ‘Speak for England,’ as Richard Amery cried in the Commons in 1940. I loved England then. I still do. But its former capital has become a bloated city state divorced from us all.

You and your readers have no identity. Once you were English, now you don’t know who you are. You claim to be wealthy. All you have is expensive houses bought by wealth produced elsewhere. It is recorded as ‘earned’ in London but that means nothing. An example is North Sea oil. Whether it is Scots or English oil doesn’t matter to you. It is not London’s oil yet you claim it as your own. So bloated and conscienceless have you become that you are embezzling from the lottery fund charities to help pay for the purely London event of the 2012 Olympics. More UK money is spent on Londoners per capita than is spent anywhere else, yet your Eric Heffer would have it otherwise. To the question, ‘Why should London have so much spent on it?’ the only reply I have ever seen in the Spectator is, ‘It’s the capital innit?’ I have more complaints.

Once there was the British Empire and we were proud to belong to it. (This is not the place to debate if we should have been proud.) Glasgow was the second city of the Empire. Although it had worse slums than Calcutta the McChattering classes did very well out of it. Now we don’t have an empire and there is no reason to look to you for government. Frankly the English are not very good at Government. Indeed so bad are you that the town of Berwick recently voted to leave England and come back to Scotland. Your politics are tired, and so is your comment.

Your comment is obsessed by the ‘major’ political parties. There is no difference in principle between them. Indeed so bankrupt are these parties that there is a suggestion that they should be state funded. The only state funded political parties I remember in a long life are those of mid twentieth century Germany and Russia. The Spectator supports the whole corrupt system that stands for nothing except who shall be in power in an oligarchy. I’m no longer supporting a magazine that promotes state corruption.

I turn now to the dismal science of economics. Once the Scottish economy may have needed the assistance of London capital. This is fiercely debated but let it stand as a feature of the past. That time has gone forever and you haven’t noticed. We live in a global economy. In such an economy a great city state like London no longer helps us. It competes with us. We are starting to do quite well from inward investment, attracted by our own Scottish Government, and with no help from the numerous UK embassies and consulates throughout the world. We need our own commercial attaches. Now is the time for all UK embassies to be apportioned between Scotland and the rest of the UK. They are a UK asset and we want control of our share of them. Scotland Week in the States and Canada is not enough. We need permanent representation. Would you comment on this? But please not with one of Mr Heffer’s hissy fits.

Have a look at the new self-confident Scotland. We have a Government pledged to independence. We are quite willing to share things with you. A truly joint monarchy appeals to many Scots. If that is to happen we shall want our share of the pageantry. We have revived such things as the Riding of Parliament, an old custom that now brings people from all over Scotland to the opening of our Parliament. The Queen comes too. Your London myopia has so far kept you from joining us.

As for our politics the Opposition comes from three unionist parties. Their only policy is to press for more power for our devolved Parliament. Despite Prime Minister Brown’s frantic, and funny, attempts to make us all British we know that we live in a separate Nation. The constituent parts of the United Kingdom are unbolting themselves. This is the most important happening in three hundred years of English and Scottish history yet you seldom comment coherently on it.

Your paper is a local rag. London has lost its identity. You don’t know who you are. You aren’t English. The English of the Shires would now disown you. It was you Londoners, in a desperate attempt to break the Scottish National Party, who without a vote from England, devolved power to Scotland. Blair insolently said, ‘Power devolved is power retained.’ He was wrong. Your rather silly old constitution has been left with a hole in the middle. The West Lothian Question can never be solved. In any hung Parliament a handful of Scots are going to take over the whole governance of England. And the joke is that these same Scots will have no power in matters affecting their own constituents. You will become our colony. We nearly govern you now, though we’re rather ashamed of the people we have sent you. They would never make it at Holyrood.
 
That’s why I won’t renew my subscription. I love England dearly, but London isn’t England. For the bloated greedy London whose voice you are I will no longer bang a saxpence. Not a bawbee.

Ian Hamilton

THE DANDRUFF COMMISSION

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Argyll and Bute District Council has set aside a million pounds to eliminate dandruff from the heads of the staff of Oban’s new multi million pound International Airport.

The Dandruff Commission, as the initiative is to be known, is chaired by an Oban Councillor whose name is being kept secret.

‘We cannot name the chairperson,’ said the Commission’s anonymous publicity supremo. ’The Commission may be involved in litigation with  an Oban hairdresser so the matter will become sub judice.’

Asked when the first scheduled air services would begin at Oban International he replied,

‘How can we think of scheduled air services while our staff are suffering the monstrous ravages of dandruff?’

Ian’s blog will name the Councillor later. 
Â