Sheriff Dickhead

By Ian Hamilton

I read in a local paper how Sheriff Dickhead dealt with a teenage mother of two. She had got away with £11,000 from Social Security.

The report didn’t say if she was a deserted spouse. Dickhead didn’t care. He treated her as one who had given way to her beastly lusts. (Even as a schoolboy Sheriff Dickhead never wanked.)

‘This is a fraud on the public,’ said Sheriff Dickhead. ‘I take the most serious view of this conduct.’

It is not a fraud on the public. It is not a fraud on the vast army of unemployed who pay no taxes. It is not a fraud on those who live in poverty. It is a fraud only on the rich…..some of the rich. The more taxes you pay the more you contribute to the fraud fund. Sheriff Dickhead with his wage five times the national average would feel it sorely.

Cry it not in Chichester! Publish it not in Kent! I have sympathy for a wee lassie who manages to get a little extra for her children. I would do what I could to help her.

The newspaper report told how Dickhead continued the case for Social Enquiry Reports.

‘You needn’t think you’re getting away with a soft option like Community Service,’ said Dickhead oblivious to what it would be like for a mother of two to do Community Service. I expect she was bound for Cornton Vale.

As the frightened young woman went away Sheriff Dickhead said,

‘There is too much of this sort of thing going on. People guilty of such crimes can expect no mercy in this court.’

And then he went home for his tea.

13 Responses to “Sheriff Dickhead”

  1. Stuart Says:

    There was a time when I would have disagreed with you. Then I saw stealth taxes creep up everywhere, our money being squandered on an illegal war and then what little was left of our taxes being given to bankers to pay their bonuses.

    Now I think its every citizen’s duty to avoid as much tax as possible and to reclaim as much from the state as they can. I’d rather it went to support a single mother than a banker’s bonus or a missile to accidentally fire at a village in Afghanistan.

  2. Tris Says:

    Oh, would that the good Sheriff had been in charge of looking into the expenses affairs of the Westminster 640+

    Perhaps then Mr Dickhead would have taken a slightly more dim view of the ex Home Secretary and her housing arrangements, or rather the taxpayers’ contributions to them… not to mention the taxpayers’ contributions to her husband (doubtless provided to alleviate the suffering caused to him by her absence in aforementioned and inappropriate housing).

    Maybe M’lud would have taken a slightly tougher view on Mr Darling, who must have had difficulty remembering which house he lived in, it changed so often. Lucky man indeed that we (including the good sheriff) were kind enough to present him with a house just over his office in order that he would not wander the streets at night searching for his abode du jour.

    And of course, just to prove that he was not in any way partisan he would have had Douglas Hogg, and the “Balmoral man” incarcerated, if not for theft, at least for gross imagined superiority.

    It seems to me that the likes of Dickhead get their jollies by penalising people of a certain class for stealing piddling sums, whilst enjoying every luxury that their status confers upon them. I wonder, for example, if he ever considers how much he and his likes profit from all the junkets that the taxpayer funds for them.

  3. Ileen Says:

    I think after the global banking meltdown and the oinking that was heard all around the world, few people will have any sympathy for somebody affluent screeching about handouts to the poor. I never did before that anyway because every time some multi-national company wants to set up a branch somewhere, they start demanding free land and tax free status. They give a few dollars to a local charity so they can go on about being good corporate citizens.
    Why are single mothers on welfare always held up as the source of all evil in society anyway? Because they are powerless.

  4. bruce15 Says:

    The working and underclass being used as fodder for the upper class.

    I’ve been saying this for quite a while now; and the ‘us and them’ dichotomy that is the upper class versus the middle, working, and underclasses, continues to grind out its unjust justice. The justice system in Scotland is over-bearing, over-criminalising, and over-oppressive; and it’s all the crown agencies taking their orders from Westminster.

    Two years ago, there was a judge from the borders that said ‘business is booming’; to describe the overcriminalisation of the Scots populace.

    So what is to be done about it?
    Can we sack the judges?
    Is there reproach to this gross political bastard we call democracy?

    Obviously, prohibiting people to speak freely is what the ‘establishment’ want to do; shut up the most wealthy in voice and common sense, and the sheep won’t hear the truth.

    Regardless of what the ‘establishment’ throw at us, we must, and I will, continue to voice my concerns at this demol;ition of society through abrogated political representation.


  5. allmyax Says:

    And the respect extends to judges?

    A point can be made without the descent to Hamish territory where only smear fear & sneer is the economy of voice.

  6. allmyax Says:

    Ok, the issue at hand!

    1), benefits are not enough for the poor to live off; than they are taxed!

    2), fathers have been systematically ‘driven’ out of their Scottish families by the harsh ‘family courts’ and the radical feminist ideals of men are evil, give women everything they want.

    3), Prison for petty offences like this do not good.

    Scottish justice system is too harsh.

  7. romeplebian Says:

    call me old fashioned but if you are teenage and bring two kids into the world then why is it my problem ? sure I dont begrudge her the social security that is almost equivalent to my take home pay when you take into account the council house cost, reduced council tax furnishing grant, free school meals etc etc, and yes we dont know if the pater did a runner or conveniently did not say they lived at said address as is normally the case, but how did she manage to rack up an 11k scam? I havent read the report so dont know, and as much as I will give my bread to the next person, there are too many taking bread from everyone and getting quite fat on it.

  8. Hamish Scott Says:

    Defrauding social security is a criminal offence. Many - honest - people get by on social security and/or state pensions, they don’t supplement their income by fraud. The woman concerned needs to be punished in some way but not out of proportion to the offence and in a way that mitigates any impact on her children. That people of a ‘higher’ social class get away with worse is wrong, but to borrow the cliche - two wrongs don’t make a right.

  9. Brent Hodgson Says:

    Dear Ian,

    Whoever said the unemployed pay no taxes is wrong, in my view. If he or she buys petrol for their car, using their benefit payment, a whooping sum of this payment goes ( back ) to the government. There are taxes on cigarettes and beer from which the unemployed are not exempt. My 98 year old mother-in-law paid taxes on the pension she received, courtesy of her late husband. She was not employed.

  10. MrsW Says:

    “The more you have the less you pay for it” seems to extend to benefit fraud too.

    I’d be interested to hear your opinion on this one. I am having trouble accepting anything in Nicola Sturgeon’s defence.

  11. Ian Hamilton Says:

    Dear Mrs W,

    An MSP who is also a minister has two rolls to play. First she has all the duties of a minister.

    Secondly she has her duty to her constituents. She has written to the Sheriff in this case in her second capacity. Testaments as to character and suggestions as to sentence are frequently put before a judge who can follow them or ignore them as he/she pleases. When I was a sheriff I always welcomed them. It is a rotten job.

    Sentencing in the sheriff court is a far more difficult task than sentencing in the High Court. This man seems to have mended his ways and has repaid a great deal of the money. He is selling property to repay the rest. A judge must always ask himself the question, ‘What good will this sentence do to society?’

    People like yourself, and I write in sympathy not to attack you, always feel that someone who has done something wrong should be punished. (If someone stole my car I would want to hang him up by the thumbs.) A judge, any judge, has other matters to consider and in particular the effect on wife, children and the wider society. It is a difficult job.

    The newspapers have seized on this not in any moderate way but because it is a good story. The real place to call Nicola to account is Parliament but unfortunately we don’t have a sufficiently informed opposition. Thw twin duties of minister and MSP are always difficult to balance and you are right to have doubts. I may be wrong but that is the way I see it. I would write this same note whatever the politicaal party of the person criticised.

    I hope this note has helped you.


  12. MrsW Says:

    It has and thank you for taking the time to reply. Though I think you misjudge me! I am SO far from the hang em high and punish the buggers brigade. Really. I don’t think I’ll ever fathom using prisons to incarcerate fine defaulters, benefit frauds or penniless parents who steal a chicken to feed their family. Or even naked ramblers. That the bigger fraud was perpetrated by someone with the means to pay it back just aggravates his crime imho, certainly when compared with the young mum who has no capacity to make recompense at all and thereby finds herself in Corton Vale. I appreciate that one sentence fits all is a ludicrous scenario - I just wonder if these two cases have slipped through a dimension portal from Opposite Land!

  13. Ian Hamilton Says:

    Mrs W. You may be right. This is what democracy, and a blog, is all about. So that people like you and me can agree and disagree. This must have been a difficult decision for Nicola. She may have taken the wrong one but I wouldn’t blame her if she has.

    Comments like yours make me feel that this blog, which is like shouting into the wind, is really worth while.


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