By Ian Hamilton
I read in a local paper how Sheriff Dickhead dealt with a teenage mother of two. She had got away with £11,000 from Social Security.
The report didn’t say if she was a deserted spouse. Dickhead didn’t care. He treated her as one who had given way to her beastly lusts. (Even as a schoolboy Sheriff Dickhead never wanked.)
‘This is a fraud on the public,’ said Sheriff Dickhead. ‘I take the most serious view of this conduct.’
It is not a fraud on the public. It is not a fraud on the vast army of unemployed who pay no taxes. It is not a fraud on those who live in poverty. It is a fraud only on the rich…..some of the rich. The more taxes you pay the more you contribute to the fraud fund. Sheriff Dickhead with his wage five times the national average would feel it sorely.
Cry it not in Chichester! Publish it not in Kent! I have sympathy for a wee lassie who manages to get a little extra for her children. I would do what I could to help her.
The newspaper report told how Dickhead continued the case for Social Enquiry Reports.
‘You needn’t think you’re getting away with a soft option like Community Service,’ said Dickhead oblivious to what it would be like for a mother of two to do Community Service. I expect she was bound for Cornton Vale.
As the frightened young woman went away Sheriff Dickhead said,
‘There is too much of this sort of thing going on. People guilty of such crimes can expect no mercy in this court.’
And then he went home for his tea.