By Ian Hamilton
Of all bodily functions sex is best. After sex a man feels relaxed, exalted, grateful. To waken with a beautiful woman and see slow contentment light up her face and have her snuggle into you is one of a man’s greatest joys. I suspect it’s the same for a woman. To take away that look by saying you’re ashamed of what you’ve just done is the most appalling blasphemy. Now Tiger has insulted every woman he’s ever shared his body with. He’s said he’s sorry. What a wimp!
He should be pitied. He’s been caught in the nip of an opening door. Society is now a new bedroom. Women are free. Women can make love either for pleasure or profit or both. Men are not taking advantage of them but treating them as the equals they are. I’m not talking about the street corner drab driven by poverty or a pimp. I’m talking of women as free as you and me. That’s why I blame Tiger for saying he’s sorry.
How dare he ! He should have said, ‘What a wonderful time I’ve had. I’ve loved every one of you. Now my wife has found out and given me a black eye so I’ve got to watch my step’. Once he was a credit to us all. That’s changed. A lean-faced Christian on telly warned him that his golf swing was the envy of young men and that he should set an example to our youth.
Is the man mad? Do ministers not realise that every red blooded young man is more interested in how Tiger pulls young women than in his golf swing? Young women too are attracted not because he can hit a ball with a stick. It may be a primitive attraction because he’s an alpha male. It may just be that he’d be nice to sleep with. Whatever it is women love him. Now he’s been away for rehab. Rehab from what? Poor lonely chap; denying himself the only thing that could comfort him: and so many motherly women are waiting to do so! The rehab won’t work. He now offers a perpetual challenge to every young woman to show they can beat the psychiatrists.
And then there’s his wife, the only person in his seraglio who’s made a great deal of money out of sex. Of course she’s angry but she’s supposed to love him. Love means forgiveness. If she expected marriage to give her a monopoly of Tiger she expected too much. She might have made some enquiry beforehand. Marriage doesn’t change a man. He must aye have loved sex. She should have looked the other way. It was her fault just as much as it would have been his had it been her at it instead of him. Wronged celebrity wives represent a class of young women who see marriage as a door to wealth. With the husband they have it. If it doesn’t work then divorce is there as a massive insurance policy. Let the husband put a foot wrong and in come the divorce lawyers looking for millions. Examples abound.
It’s reasonable that a wife, who’s fed up with her man, should have a small settlement for herself and a big one for the children. But is divorce necessary? Tiger is the same Tiger except he’s lonely. Maybe he’s said, ‘Thanks my dear, wasn’t that lovely’, to a couple of dozen women but life has changed. It’s changed for wives as well as for single women. Wives also can play away to the fury of their husbands. One wee pill has changed society for ever. The monogamous marriage may be finished. I have been married for nearly forty years and I affirm that while sex is important the daily life with someone you love and respect is more important still. Women should not be apologised for. They’re worth far more than that.
Margaret, Wilma, Joan, Irene, Jessie, Nancy, Jean, Mary and all you other lovely young women: through you I address all womankind. Given the chance would you spend a night of tenderness with Robert Burns or Tiger Woods? You bet you would!
There’s one big difference. Burns never insulted a girl by saying he was sorry. He loved you all too much for that.
Tiger has let the side down. Tiger has missed a putt.